Writing Questions #writetip

Jessica from Southport asked: If someone has read my book or a piece of my writing, and given me a written quotation, can I use it on publicity material?

Yes, you can use quotes from a review on your website, blog or any other promotional material. If you have received a written review prior to publication, then you could include excerpts from it on the book cover when it is published.

Liza from Brighton sent in this plea for help: No matter how hard I try, I just cannot get to grips with when I should use passed and when I should use past. Is there an easy way to remember?

This is something that many writers have difficulty getting right. The way I deal with it is to determine whether the context requires a verb or another part of speech. If you decide the sentence needs a verb, then you can only use ‘passed’ (apart from this exception, to be past it, which is colloquial usage, meaning old or no longer of use).

They passed the time by sleeping.

The ball passed over their heads.

I passed the house on my way to the bank.

Remember this: if you use any form of the verb ‘to have’ then it will always be followed by ‘passed’ and NEVER by ‘past’.

I have passed my exams.

He has passed his driving test.

For all other parts of speech you should use past.

As an adjective: I’ve been waiting for news for the past week. (‘Week’ is a noun and ‘past’ is an adjective modifying the noun.)

As a noun: It happened in the past. (‘The past’ is a noun.)

As an adverb: He hurried past. (The verb is ‘hurried’ and ‘past’ in this sentence is an adverb.)

As a preposition: He hurried past the house. (Because there is an object [the house] after ‘past’, it is a preposition and not an adverb, but the effect is the same and knowing the parts of speech doesn’t change the fact that you use ‘past’.)

If you have a writing-related question, please feel free to ask. Obviously, some things I won't know, but I will always try to find the answer for you.

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To Hop or not to Hop?

Katherine sent in this heartfelt plea for help on the subject of point of view perspective: I just can’t seem to get my head round this issue of point of view and head-hopping. I understand about first person and third person and that side of it, but when I ask for feedback on my writing it seems I always get the same comments – that I’m head-hopping. I just don’t understand where I’m going wrong. Writers in my online group keep trying to explain it to me and I’ve also looked on the internet for help, but it all seems so complicated. Do you have an easy way to demonstrate it, so that I can finally understand what everyone else seems to find so easy to grasp?

First of all, Katherine, you are not alone. Many writers find it difficult to get to grips with staying in point of view. Before I give you my tips on keeping within one character’s thoughts, feelings and observations, I would just like to explain (for those who aren’t sure) the viewpoints available.

First person – this is where we remain in the narrator’s head at all times, observing all others from that one perspective. (I went to the cliff and wanted to jump, but I was pulled back by Sarah).

Second person – this is where the narrator is talking to a person throughout the story about that second person’s actions (you went to the cliff and wanted to jump, but you were pulled back by Sarah).

Third person – this is where the story is told from the perspective of the character or characters.

Third person can be broken down into three groups

Limited: readers are only privy to the thoughts of one character. Everyone else in the scene is shown through that character’s eyes, thoughts and feelings. (He went to the cliff and wanted to jump, but he was pulled back by Sarah.)

Limited is the most popular and easiest to master.

Objective: there are no inner thoughts or feelings. Readers only see what happens and what is said. (He went to the cliff to jump. Sarah pulled him back.)

Objective can leave readers without any emotional involvement in what is going on.

Omniscient: here the readers are privy to everyone’s thoughts, feelings and observations – head-hopping from one character to another within a scene. (He went to the cliff and wanted to jump. Sarah wanted to save him and pulled him back).

Omniscient is hard to pull off unless the writer is extremely experienced and a master storyteller.

From your email it seems to me that you are using the omniscient point of view, but it isn’t working for you because you haven’t quite mastered it. For many writers, it is impossible to get right because (unless you are very careful) the reader loses track of who is speaking, whose thoughts we are sharing, whose eyes we are looking through and so on. It becomes tedious and leaves the reader confused and unwilling to continue.

Regardless of which point of view you choose, you need to know how to deal with writing from that perspective. There is a simple exercise you can carry out to help with this.

Imagine someone in a restaurant. He’s there because he’s had a massive fight with his wife. He observes a couple at another table. He can hear the dialogue, but he doesn’t know the people. He has no other background knowledge outside of what they look like. This means he can only judge them on how they look, what they do and what they say. He is our point of view character and it’s his life we are involved with. The other couple are not important to the story. They are simply there to bring out the point of view character’s thoughts and emotions. We are looking at this scene through his eyes. We’ll call him Jake.

Jake put down his newspaper, eyes drawn to the next table where a middle-aged couple were studying menus. He noted they were both wearing wedding rings, but by the way they avoided eye contact, he didn’t think this was a celebration. Picking up his own menu, he was about to decide on a starter when a whispered exchange drew his attention back to the couple.

“You know how I feel about this, Carol.”

“Yes, John, I do. You’ve never made any secret of it.”

From the above dialogue it is impossible for the reader to know whether the dialogue is friendly, unfriendly, intimate, angry, or any other emotion. Because we can only know what Jake is thinking and feeling, we have to discover the emotions of the couple – and how it impacts on Jake’s own situation – through his eyes and ears.

Let’s see the dialogue again, this time with Jake’s observations included.

Jake glanced across in time to see the man reach out to touch the woman’s hand.

“You know how I feel about this, Carol.”

“Yes, John, I do,” she said, snatching her hand away. “You’ve never made any secret of it.”

Jake wondered what the man had done to make the woman so angry. He sighed. His wife always seemed to look at him like that these days. If they were still together when they reached the couple’s age, he’d be amazed. He imagined reaching out to touch Sarah’s hand and … no, better not to think of Sarah and the fight he’d walked out on.

It’s tempting at this point to slip into the woman’s or the man’s point of view and let the reader know what thoughts and emotions are being felt, but this is where staying in point of view comes into play – we are only interested in Jake’s life – what he thinks and feels. What if Jake had seen something different? What would Jake think?

Jake glanced across in time to see the man reach out to touch the woman’s hand.

“You know how I feel about this, Carol.”

“Yes, John, I do,” she said, taking his hand in hers. “You’ve never made any secret of it.”

Jake sighed. His wife never looked at him like that these days. If they were still together when they reached the couple’s age, he’d be amazed. He imagined reaching out to touch Sarah’s hand and … no, better not to think of Sarah and the fight he’d walked out on.

As you can see from the above, because we are in Jake’s point of view, we can only experience the event from his perspective. Using Jake as a first person point of view would be the same.

I glanced across in time to see the man reach out to touch the woman’s hand.

“You know how I feel about this, Carol.”

“Yes, John, I do,” she said, taking his hand in hers. “You’ve never made any secret of it.”

I sighed. My wife never looked at me like that these days. If we’re still together when we reached that couple’s age, I’ll be amazed. I imagined reaching out to touch Sarah’s hand and … no, better not to think of Sarah and the fight I’d walked out on.

And here is the same scene, this time head-hopping to use the perspective of all three characters.

Jake put down his newspaper, eyes drawn to the next table where a middle-aged couple were studying menus. He noted they were both wearing wedding rings, but by the way they avoided eye contact, he didn’t think this was a celebration. Picking up his own menu, he was about to decide on a starter when a whispered exchange drew his attention back to the couple.

Jake glanced across in time to see the man reach out to touch the woman’s hand.

“You know how I feel about this, Carol,” the man said, wishing she would be more understanding.

“Yes, John, I do,” she said, snatching her hand away. He was so selfish, thinking that a nice dinner made up for all the rest. “You’ve never made any secret of it.”

Jake wondered what the man had done to make the woman so angry. He sighed. His wife always seemed to look at him like that these days. If they were still together when they reached the couple’s age, he’d be amazed. He imagined reaching out to touch Sarah’s hand and … no, better not to think of Sarah and the fight he’d walked out on.

From a reader’s perspective, we have lost touch with Jake. There is no reason for us to know what John or Carol are thinking and the scene is weakened as a result of having their thoughts intrude.

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Tab Off

Sorry the blog has been a bit quiet recently, but I've moved countries yet again and packing up to move and then settling in took up quite a bit of my spare time. Anyway, I'm now able to share another reader's letter with you.

Mark Buchannan’s question relates to page formatting: I get confused about when to indent and when to leave spaces on manuscripts. I also never know whether to use single or double line spacing – is there a definite rule on this? And one last point, if using indents, should I just press the tab key? 

When submitting for a print publication, it is usual to format using double line spacing with indented paragraphs and no additional white lines in between unless it’s to signal a change of scene. Opening paragraphs (including those signalling a change of scene) shouldn’t be indented. Each new line of dialogue should be indented.

However, if submitting to an online publication it is better to send in the manuscript using single line spacing with no indents. Leave a clear line of space between paragraphs and signal any change of scene with three asterisks between paragraphs. As with the double line spacing option above, each new line of dialogue should be treated like a new paragraph.

With regards to tabs, I would advise against using them as an editor would need to remove them all prior to formatting work for inclusion in a magazine. It is far better to set your indents using the paragraph menu on most word programmes. Any formatting to the manuscript done via the paragraph menu can be easily reset if needed, whereas each tab would have to be searched out and dealt with individually.

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Synopsis tips

Peter Richardson sent in a question on a topic that I am fairly sure most writers agonise over: My difficulty is the synopsis. I find it harder to write a one page summary than an entire book. Any tips?

Before giving tips on the nuts and bolts of  writing a synopsis, it’s worth spending a few moments questioning who the synopsis is for and what they actually require.

Many agents and publishers ask for a synopsis of no more than a single page, others are more generous and will allow between two and five pages, and then there are those who don’t want a synopsis as such, but require the author to supply the type of blurb found on the back and/or inside jacket of a novel.

So, before you begin, your first port of call should be the submission guidelines. If the guidelines allow several pages, why make your task harder by keeping it to one page?

Okay, so we now assume you know how long the synopsis has to be and we need to move on to the actual writing.

The thought of sitting down and condensing an entire novel is always daunting, but it needn’t be. Break the task down and approach it step by step.

One of the best methods is to sit down with your ms and a notepad. Note down what happens in each chapter, so that you have the entire book in summary. Look out for the various themes and make a note of them – this knowledge will be invaluable when you write the synopsis.

Right, now you have a chapter by chapter outline of the book and from that you can pick out the important aspects to go in the synopsis. While doing this, don’t forget that you need to entice the synopsis reader, so make sure you include plenty of conflict and show how the story and characters are driven as a result.

Something I saw on a website many years ago struck me as clever. Imagine you have met a friend at a party and you want to describe a film you saw the night before. You’d only give the bare bones of the story, but you would include all the exciting and/or moving aspects of the film leaving your friend wishing that they hadn’t missed out on the experience. This is what you are aiming for in a synopsis. The bare bones, but told in such a way that the person reading the synopsis can’t wait to get hold of the book.

If you bear the above paragraph in mind, you’ll realise you do not have to mention every character in the book, but you must include all the important ones. Similarly, you do not need to detail every twist and turn of the plot, but you must show clearly what the book is about, the highs and lows of the story, what is at stake for the main characters, and how the heroes deal with the plot shifts.

Do make sure the storyline follows a logical sequence and comes to a satisfactory conclusion. Always give the ending of the novel. Apart from anything else, this shows the agent you have worked through the plotline and ironed out any hitches.

The synopsis should be written using the present tense and third person point of view, even if the actual novel is in first person.

Write in the same style you’ve used to write the book, always bearing in mind that this could be the first and only chance you get to show off your own unique voice. If the novel is humorous, use humour. If the book is a rollercoaster thriller, then so should the synopsis be. If the setting is unusual or in some way affects the plot, include a few lines to show this.

Open with a hook which will grab the reader’s attention and show the main characters’ emotions and motivations, including any information that is absolutely necessary (don’t try to tell the reader everything). Make the conclusion seem even more exciting by using shorter sentences.

Synopsis still too long? Go through it again and again taking out all the unnecessary adverbs and adjectives. Put it away for a week at least between pruning sessions. You need to come at it with fresh eyes each time.

When it comes to formatting, you do not need a title page for the synopsis, your contact details go in the covering letter, and the novel’s details go on the same page as the synopsis. Start by putting the following information in the top left-hand corner of the page.

Name:

Title:

Word Length:

Genre:

Or, if writing for children, put: Genre and age group:

Use single line spacing. Block the first paragraph to the left and indent all subsequent paragraphs. Write only in the present tense, using the third person. Each time you introduce a new character, put their name in capitals, but revert to lower case thereafter.

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Can a slow burn be attention grabbing?

Charles Daly sent in a question regarding plot and his opening chapter: I'm writing a thriller but the start of my story is more of a slow-burn suspense atmosphere as the hero is lured to Hong Kong to start a mysterious new job. However, agents and publishers alike seem to demand more of a show-stopping grabber in chapter one, or at least that's what is required to get noticed. How can I satisfy both the demands of the story and the publishing industry? Should I mess around with timelines in chapter one? Flashbacks, flash forwards, etc, to bring in some high-octane action? Any help gratefully received!

I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to this question when comes to the various devices you could use to make the opening to your novel attention grabbing, if that is how you decide to open your story. But that phrase, attention grabbing, is the important bit of the sentence. Agents and publishers want a reason to read on. What they are looking for first and foremost is quality of writing. They don’t necessarily want a high octane show-stopping grabber, but they do need to be presented with something that makes them keen to find out what happens next.

You can do this by letting the reader know that something is not quite right about the mysterious new job, but what you can’t do is present several pages of your hero travelling to Hong Kong without giving a strong hint of troubles to come.

An atmosphere of slow-burn suspense can give a compelling sense of foreboding, when handled correctly. If your character comes to life on the page, so that the reader believes in him, and you’ve added in the elements of mystery, your readers will be on edge as he moves across the world to take up his new position.

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Winning story - can I use it again?

Following on from the last question, Stephanie Smith sent in a query regarding previously published stories: is a short story that has won a competition online and has subsequently been added to that website deemed to have been 'published'?  In other words, can it be sent to anyone else?

If a story has appeared on a competition website, then it counts as published and would be ineligible for most other competitions. However, it’s always best to check the rules of any competition you intend to enter because there are some competitions where previously published entries are allowed and even, in a few cases, actively encouraged.

On the other hand, most competition rules state categorically that even stories work-shopped on public access peer review sites or private blogs are disqualified.

If you intend to submit a winning or placed story to an online site or a print magazine, then having it published online might not count against you. Indeed, it might even count in your favour because it shows the editor that your work is of prize winning quality. But, as with the competitions, you need to check the guidelines for each market as these will vary considerably and many publications refuse to accept previously published work, regardless of where or how it was published.

When submitting a previously published story, you should always mention this to the editor in your covering letter. You might think you’d be able to get away with not mentioning it, but you’d be surprised how often a reader will point out to the editor that they have already read a story on such and such site, which could land you in serious trouble if you’d failed to mention that you’d already given away electronic rights in your work.

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