I’ve been allowed on here to tell you about my life before my parents disappeared. Well, I think I was a pretty regular kid. My dad was a vampire, but when he went to bite my mum, she didn’t want to be a vampire and because of all that lovey-dovey stuff, so Dad said he would try to give up the blood-sucking stuff for her.
Anyway, they got married and had me, so I’m half human and half vampire – a hupyre. I’ve read how we’re pretty rare and special, but I was always special to Mum and Dad, so didn’t really take any notice of all that stuff in books.
Mum made sure I could go out in daylight by putting my pram out on the castle drawbridge. Oh, did I forget to tell you about the castle? Yeah, my dad’s family have owned Castle Malign for like centuries.
What else, oh yeah, Mum didn’t want me turning into a vampire, so I’ve never eaten meat or drunk blood. Yeeeuk! Who would want to? Well, my rotten cousins Boris and Gretchen, but I’m not going to talk about them now because this is all about when my mum and dad were still around.
I’ve never had to go to school because my mum was a teacher, so I got all my lessons at home. That was great, but I did get a bit lonely at times and wonder what it would be like to be with other kids my age. Then the cousins arrived and I found out it was much better being on my own. I know I said I didn’t want to talk about them, but they were the ones who called me Vlad the Inhaler, because of my asthma.
Yeah, I have asthma, and it’s a pain, but I’ve learned to live with it. As long as I’ve got my inhalers close by, I don’t need to worry.
And that’s about it, really. I lived in a, like, massive castle with my mum and dad, Mary my old nurse and her husband Joe. He works in the gardens and grows the most amazing peaches in the whole of Magdorovia – that’s the country where I live.
Bye for now,
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